Can You Be Addicted to a Person?

 

Can You Be Addicted to a Person?

When most people hear the word “addiction,” they immediately think of substances like drugs, alcohol, or cigarettes. But addiction is not limited to things you can smoke, drink, or inject. In fact, addiction can also take the form of relationships. Yes, it is possible to be addicted to a person. This kind of emotional or psychological addiction may not be as openly talked about, but it can be just as intense, confusing, and damaging as any other kind of addiction.

Being addicted to a person means that your emotional and mental well-being becomes entirely dependent on that individual. You may feel like you cannot live without them, think about them all the time, and even ignore their bad behavior just to keep them in your life. You might feel extreme highs when you are with them and painful lows when they are away or when they do not give you attention. This cycle can feel very much like a drug addiction, where the person becomes your main source of happiness and your biggest fear is losing them.

This type of addiction usually begins with strong emotional attachment. At first, everything feels perfect. You feel understood, loved, and valued. It can be incredibly exciting and comforting, especially if you have emotional wounds from the past, like childhood neglect or rejection. The other person seems to fill a hole inside you. But over time, that connection can become unhealthy. You start craving their approval, their presence, and their love in ways that feel overwhelming. You may start ignoring your own needs, values, or goals just to please them or keep them close.

One big sign of being addicted to a person is constantly needing their attention. You might check your phone every few minutes, waiting for a message. You might feel anxious if they take too long to respond or if they want to spend time with others. This kind of constant emotional dependence can lead to jealousy, insecurity, and fear, even if there is no real threat. Your emotions become tied to what they say or do, and you lose control over your own mood.

Another sign is staying in a toxic or painful relationship because you feel unable to leave. Even when the person treats you badly, lies, cheats, or ignores you, you still hold on tightly. You might tell yourself that things will get better, or that you just need to love them more. This denial is common in emotional addiction. Just like a drug addict may make excuses for their substance use, someone addicted to a person often makes excuses for the relationship.

People in this situation may also experience withdrawal symptoms when separated. You may feel empty, anxious, depressed, or physically sick when the person is not around. This emotional pain can be so intense that you might go back to the person even after deciding to leave. It becomes a cycle of highs and lows—moments of affection followed by moments of pain—which keeps you hooked and confused.

This pattern often has roots in childhood experiences. If you grew up feeling unloved, unseen, or emotionally unsafe, you may develop strong fears of abandonment. As a result, when you meet someone who gives you attention or affection, you may cling to them, hoping they will never leave. But if the relationship becomes unhealthy, your fear of losing them may be so strong that you stay, even when it is hurting you. It becomes less about love and more about survival.

Brain chemistry also plays a role. When you fall in love or feel emotionally connected to someone, your brain releases chemicals like dopamine and oxytocin. These are the same chemicals released when you experience pleasure or reward. In a healthy relationship, these chemicals make you feel bonded and happy. But in an addictive relationship, your brain becomes hooked on the emotional “highs,” making it harder to walk away even when things go wrong. The brain starts to crave those moments of affection, even if they are rare.

It is important to understand that love and addiction are not the same. Love is built on mutual respect, trust, and care. Love allows space for individuality, growth, and emotional safety. Addiction, on the other hand, involves fear, control, neediness, and emotional chaos. If a relationship is draining you, making you anxious all the time, or causing you to lose your sense of self, it may be more of an addiction than love.

Recovering from being addicted to a person is possible, but it takes time and effort. The first step is to recognize the problem without judgment. Understand that emotional addiction is not a sign of weakness. It is often the result of unmet emotional needs and deep fears. You are not broken—you are human. But healing requires taking responsibility for your well-being.

Start by setting boundaries. This may mean limiting contact, ending the relationship, or taking space to reflect. It can feel painful at first, but it is necessary to break the cycle. Focus on reconnecting with yourself. Do things that bring you joy, comfort, and peace without needing the other person. Spend time with supportive friends or family who remind you of your worth.

Therapy can also help. A therapist can help you understand the root of your emotional patterns, build self-esteem, and learn healthier ways to connect with others. You may also benefit from support groups where others share similar experiences. Knowing you are not alone can be incredibly healing.

It is also important to practice self-love. Remind yourself daily that you deserve a relationship based on respect and care, not fear and need. Learn to comfort yourself, rather than relying on someone else to do it. Over time, your brain will adjust, and the emotional hold the person had on you will fade. You will begin to feel stronger, freer, and more in control of your life.

Being addicted to a person can be one of the most confusing emotional experiences. It feels like love, but it is actually fear dressed up as attachment. Real love brings out your best self. Emotional addiction makes you lose yourself. But with awareness, courage, and support, you can break free and create relationships that are truly healthy and fulfilling.